Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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