On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize