I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No subtext here. People are naked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
