At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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