his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
