do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize