3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
