i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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