Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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