DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
