So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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