She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
