when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She bit a glass in half.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
