Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
