But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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