a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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