Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize