I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
