Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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