Duck Duck Cougar?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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