omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
