I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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