Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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