bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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