Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
