If you die in college, do you die in real life?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
