dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i think i have two assholes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
