Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
