I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
