id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
