He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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