Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
of course. lets lasso hookers.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
