My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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