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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am in a vortex of obligation.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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