I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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