My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
