I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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