Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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