he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
