He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
