If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
