Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
