I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
