YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
