P.S. I can't hear my feet
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
