he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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