Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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