i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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