I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
