When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
