I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
