Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
