i barfeds in our rink
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
