Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
