there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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