I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
