Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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