I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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